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When Alison Krauss sings, "All I want for Christmas, darling, is to be with you," the object of her affection is good old Father Christmas. So sexy it was banned. Please excuse me as I take a series of cold showers. Long live her Madgesty. Pretty racy for , eh. The offer is catchy, yes, but not legally binding.

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Want to hear the most Rihanna lyric ever. Happy, creepy holidays. Talk about a one-track mind. God bless those randy pirates. Another song that isn't even trying to be subtle when it comes to Santa is this jazz tune from Sarah Taylor and Bill Mumy.

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It's like they don't even care that Santa's happily married. Hard to imagine how dangerous and dizzying those jagged power chords must have sounded back then. Every public figure has a private life. I once attempted to listen to it on a packed train, little realising that the earphone jack had come loose, meaning I blasted it out while standing uncomfortably close to — and making occasional eye contact with — a stranger. Why is Justin Bieber singing about landing on top of your roof.

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Description: Why is Justin Bieber singing about landing on top of your roof. And his offer to ride his reindeer doesn't seem quite so innocent. On this reverb-drenched guitar-pop track, singer Matt Healy invites the listener into the back of his van for a bit of sexy time. Gotta keep your priorities straight. God bless those randy pirates. The offer is catchy, yes, but not legally binding. Let us, reader, end this filthy list in a fittingly filthy manner. And even if the line, "Come and trim my Christmas tree," wasn't originally meant to be graphic, it has taken on a whole new meaning for modern listeners.
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